PIMP MY SECRET: Archive

Anonymous asked: I want to watch porn but I don't know any good sites. Are there any good websites you can recommend to me?

Jul 10th

Anonymous asked: how tall are you trish?

Jul 10th

Pimp My Secret presents a special audio post - a...

Jun 25th

4 notes

Anonymous asked: dear ladies,
I would love to see your photos.
Photos are good.
thank you.

May 29th

Anonymous asked: i wanna see you guys photog.

i wan photo.

HEEHEEEHEEHEEHEEEHHEEEEEE

May 19th

Anonymous asked: s

May 10th

The Girl Who Cried Rape

Dear Bitches, The most awful thing happened! You’ll never guess! I’m barely 15 and I got raped. Well, almost. He’s twenty-something. I’m so scared now. I’m so scared to take the lift. I’m so scared to walk alone but I don’t know what to do so I just blog about the experience and steal lyrics off of Kurt Cobain and let the interwebs think I’m some...

Apr 6th

Fine Lines

Dear Tumblr Sheep, There’s a fine line between twisted humour and distasteful humour and no-one-but-you-finds-this-funny humour. No, you know what. We’re not even going to be kind. There’s a fucking huge GAP, as wide as your momma’s legs when she’s flat on her back, between twisted humour and distasteful humour and ‘no-one-but-you-finds-this-funny humour. And...

Apr 1st

2 notes

We don't even.

Dear Bitches, I really want to go for the Tumblr Meetup but I’m afraid. I really want to see you bitches but I’m afraid you two will be mean to me and make fun of me and embarrass me in front of everyone. I really want to be your friend but I’m afraid you two won’t like me. Scared O, sweetie. You don’t have to go to the Tumblr Meetup to be ridiculed. We are...

Apr 1st

3 notes

Crushing On The Bitches

Dear Bitches, I really really think you girls are cool so I read your personal blogs and like every single post even though I don’t understand everything you write about. I try so hard to write like you girls and I really really try to think like you too. But you girls won’t give me the time of day. Why? I love y’all so much. I just want to be like y’all! Is that so wrong?...

Mar 27th

3 notes

hopeily asked: http://www.formspring.me/wansgsecrets/q/124793274

^
oh gee... *face palm*

Mar 16th

The Bitches

are too fucking busy to give a rat’s ass about your problems right now. Try us again when we’re not too fucking busy. Bless Off.

Mar 13th

SGSecrets Update

Dear Tumblr Sheep, We attended the SGSecrets meeting last night(since we’re the newest additions to the shitstorm of moderators on board SGSecrets) and even though it’s all classified hush hush business and we shouldn’t be telling you this, tell you we shall because we’re the Bitches of PMS and no one fucking tells us what to do. We hope you have the ice-cream because we...

Mar 2nd

SGSecrets: How's everyone? →

Katie here and I would like to tell you guys that now there’s two more moderators :D!! Means secrets will get posted more frequently and in huge batches. Many apologies about the recent spam on you followers’ dashboard, think I kinda forgot to tell her not to spam… but oh well :) What’s done been… Dear Tumblr Sheep, Remember when we said we were busy fucking cumbubbles up? We lied. ...

Feb 28th

The Bitches are too fucking busy to amuse you...

You may, however, email us, formspring us or ask us whatever the fuck you want. We may or may not reply. Bless Off.

Feb 27th

Wan@SGSecrets is a real knobjob →

She fucking doesn’t get it, does she? PS: Wan killed Katie.

Feb 25th

SGSecrets learn a thing or two from PMS →

Dear Katie and Wan, You’re welcome. Bless Off

Feb 21st

PMS: SGSecrets' Guilty Pleasure →

Feb 20th

SGSecrets sink to a pitiful all time low! →

Dear SGSecrets, Since we’re both in the same trade, we Bitches thought we’d give you some much needed honest feedback: It’s not an accomplishment, darlings. Your blog is only being featured because you shamelessly begged your readers. What’s even more pitiful is that you actually think you’re inspiring when you’re doing such a botched job. Bless Off

Feb 19th

Feb 13th

BBAs

Dear Tumblr Sheep, Sit tight like the virgins y’all are not because the BBAs is finally happening. Bless Off

Feb 11th

1 note

Yet Another Blog Bites The Dust →

Dear Tumblr Sheep, Let us all hope that Fucknozzle stays dead this time. Bless Off

Feb 9th

Feb 8th

I love Pimpmysecret. Gives me the LOLs I need :D

hopeily: Yes, your asses were kissed. hah! We thank you. We’ll be sending you our used tampons shortly. After our next monthly cycle. Bless Off

Feb 7th

4 notes

:)

bombsinabirdcage: I am so happy that my close friend is the admin of fuckyeahchemistry. Love you E (: Look at Fucknozzle name-dropping like she’s hot.

Feb 7th

Feb 6th

10 notes

Feb 6th

Another Blog Bites The Dust

The Bitches at PMS have scared (and scarred) Fucknozzle 2.0 so bad that she’s deactivated her account. That is all.

Feb 4th

Why doesn't Katie like me?

Dear Bitches, Everyone stupid enough not to know any better keeps hating on you but they don’t see that you care about us more than Katie@SGSecrets does. When I send her love notes on her Formspring.Me page or ask her questions, she doesn’t even bother putting effort into her stupid one word or uni-emoti[c]onal replies. So what I’m really trying to say is I’m sorry for...

Feb 4th

Fucknozzle 2.0 smiles for us →

Feb 4th

pms

whensecurityfails: Hellyhoos. PimpMySecret’s this really annoying act-cool-sacrastic blog. They think because sarcasm’s funny and rude words are cool when used with proper spelling, they get to express their opinions “sprinkled heavily” with eff words, hate, indifference and sarcasm. They attacked Dhand when she just told them they were mean (which they knew) but they took HUGE offense, and...

Feb 3rd

formspring.

tracetheheights: why are you full of shit? Because I take five laxatives a day. im kinda on your side.I dont really like pimpmysecret.I think they are rather mean.I support you all the way.YOU CAN BRING THEM DOWN! All that drama is over dear. Dear Fucknozzle, We’d like to see you bring us down. Bless Off PS: We love how you make us laugh by writing your own formsprings. Thank you for...

Feb 3rd

Feb 1st

My haters on Tumblr like to emphasise on the fact...

tracetheheights: I am. Im just enjoying the last bit of it. Look at this deluded fucknozzle.

Jan 31st

why did they call me fucknozzle?

tracetheheights: and why is my stupid poser so stupid? We call you Cumbubble too, Dhanya.

Jan 31st

Unrequited Love Part Deux

tracetheheights: pimpmysecret: Dear Bitches, Hi! It’s me, Fucknozzle! Again! I’m doing everything in my power to suck up to all the cool kids on Tumblr but no one’s paying me any attention! Why? Love, Fucknozzle Dear Fucknozzle, Aren’t you an ignorant little cockspit? You can worship the cool kids all you want. They’re never going to ever pay you any attention because you’re nothing but...

Jan 31st

3 notes

Unrequited Love Part Deux

Dear Bitches, Hi! It’s me, Fucknozzle! Again! I’m doing everything in my power to suck up to all the cool kids on Tumblr but no one’s paying me any attention! Why? Love, Fucknozzle Dear Fucknozzle, Aren’t you an ignorant little cockspit? You can worship the cool kids all you want. They’re never going to ever pay you any attention because you’re nothing...

Jan 28th

3 notes

Jan 27th

Unrequited love

Dear Bitches, There are these two really cool individuals on Tumblr. I think they hate me because I’m really stupid. I really really want them to like me because they’re so cool. I’ve shamelessly reblogged their posts and have declared publicly that I love their blogs and find them amusing. They still won’t acknowledge me! What can I do? Fucknozzle Dear Fucknozzle, ...

Jan 26th

BullshitBlogAwards PodCast Is Underway.

Jan 24th

Pencil Test?

Dear Bitches, My sister and her friends were having a sleepover party at my house the other day. As I walked past her room, I heard them talking about their breasts and the pencil test. Some of the girls in school have also talked about this pencil test. What is this pencil test? Tittified Dear Tittified, You’ve come to the right people, darling. We, lovely nubile girls ourselves, know...

Jan 20th

3 notes

Overread on Tumblr

PIMPMYSECRET is so shit it’s good.

Jan 20th

1 note

PIMPMYSECRET kicks SGSecrets' collective asses

Both PIMPMYSECRET and SGSecrets got asked essentially the same question. Let’s look at how Katie and The Bitches handled that: PIMPMYSECRET VS SGSecrets And people wonder why PIMPMYSECRET is better. Bless Off

Jan 20th

SGSecrets

sgseacrest: This cheap rip-off of our clearly original website seems to think we’re their parodies. I think this is a cloning situation gone haywire. Let’s just concentrate on our SGSeacrests OK?!

Jan 19th

Anonymous asked: I saw my Mom fucking another man, should I tell my Dad?

Jan 18th

Ambiguously Gay Uno Part Deux

Dear Bitches, Thank you so much for bailing me out of the sticky situation I was in two weeks ago. This time, it’s worse. Much worse. It was Long John Silver’s happy hour and I was jerking off to the hottest gay porn ever when my mother walked in. “Are you masturbating?” my mother screamed. ‘No! Of course not!’ I screamed back. ‘What kind of mother are you? How can...

Jan 17th

Dear Bitches, can we suck your dicks? →

Jan 16th

Grotesque Shit-Stirrers

Dear Bitches, I used to love Tumblr. It made me feel loved. Now thanks to all these grotesque shit-stirrers, I have to blog elsewhere. Cretin Dear Cretin, Poor you. While you find another blogging platform, maybe you could try getting a personality too, one that’s not so dead. Bless Off

Jan 16th